Just do it. Or not.

This week has been busier than usual..I run a company, and my job as the business manager involves every aspect of the company from HR to overseeing the production line and montoring our sales and marketing team. Now, dont get me wrong, am not the micro-managing type. I have a capable sales and marketing manager who knows and does her work well. Unfortunately, she suffered a personal health crisis and is away for the whole week..perhaps longer. On the same day, the assistant sales manager lost her spouse and she's away for the next two weeks. That may not sound like too much disruption, but it comes at a week when the production is on overdrive which means more of my time is needed.

Am having an unusually busy week, and it has taken its toll on my health. I worked full-on for the past 3 days, putting in over 12hrs each day. Now that may not sound like much for a normal healthy 29yr old, but for someone with lupus its a bit like climbing the kilimanjaro. Today, am stuck in the house as i feel too tired to get ready and drive to work.

Lupus fatigue is not your garden variety type one feels after a long day. The type that needs a good night's sleep to get over. No. Its "i cant go to the shower as i might fall in the bathroom" fatigue. Its "do i have to get up and walk to the kitchen to make a cup of tea" fatigue. Its "F**# that saturday dinner date with George Clooney" fatigue. Its overwhelming. Its frustating. sometimes I feel like am having an out of body experience. One feels it to the bone, and it makes even falling asleep impossible.

I may be tempted to do it all, but my body will constantly remind me to stop. On the upside, am forced to put more trust in others to carry out their duties with minimal supervision. Its quite empowering to others and eventually to myself.

So when i get back to work tomorrow, i will hopefully find that everything is running smoothly..and i'll be feeling a little more ready to do some work.

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