Finding a Little Grace

This morning I had the most suprising news: I maybe pregnant. Now i say maybe because i have yet to have the test at the doctors office, but my 2 home pregnancy tests were positive. Now, hubby is very VERY excited at the prospect but am a little more cautious. I must temper my excitement with soberness and realism. A lupus pregnancy is not always easy. Its fraught with many potential problems including higher risk of miscarriage, antiphospholid antibodies (which as at last time i was tested i did not have :) and potentially high blood pressure and a high risk of a lupus flare (my last flare was in June). Its also coupled with the worries as to which medications one can safely use and what the body's reaction will be if some of the medication is discontinued. Lets wait and see. I had quite an eventful christmas: We drove down to the coast which is about 500km away to spend christmas with hubby's family. It was my first time at my inlaws house and i was quite anxious. Thankful...

This morning i had the pleasure (yes, really) of attending my first physical lupus support group. And the good thing about it, there were 2 visiting specialists ( a rheumatologist and a pain specialist) from McGill University in Canada. So instead of having the usual "Hi, My name is Mumbi and I have lupus" "Hi Mumbi" style of meeting, i got to experience a wonderful presentation from the both physicians, complete with a question and answer time.. There was more good news. We are finally going to have more than one rheumatologist in Kenya! We met the new rheumie who'll start practicing in February next year..at least it will make it easier to access a rheumatologist when one needs one. But am sticking with Dr. Oyoo, who is always unfailingly kind..am just hoping that others will decamp to the new doctor and they'll be less of us at dr. oyoo's..making it easier to get an appointment. I know that will not be the case..as the incidence of autoimmune disease ...

A lot has been happening lately. As at last blog, i had fallen in love and was all giggly and gushy..Now i have even bigger news. He liked. He put a ring on it. And, i moved in..yes, ladies and gentlemen, am cohabiting. living in sin. I have a room mate who happens to be my lover and fiance..actually, we consider ourselves married..we're just awaiting for the attorney general to agree with us. There are a few things i have learnt in the past 4 weeks of cohabiting (a word my hubby really hates). dont tell your parents just yet : No matter how liberal you may think they are. I think ever parent would like to see their child walk down the aisle. Especially their daughters, in broad daylight (as Kenyan law stipulates) and have some man make an honest woman out of them. Women have so much work: : as you dear readers are aware, i hold a full time job as a business manager, i suffer from lupus and am trying to forge a new career as an events planner (actually no one is aware of that - s...

I have fallen in love. Yes, I have. And the best thing about it was that there was no dilly dallying (?), no second guesses, no hesitations. I just knew. How, you may ask. Well, read the prior sentences. Yeap. It was thunderbolt. It was magic. It was smoke in my eyes. But what really clinched the deal was the sudden urge to reproduce with the said person. I have never been a broody sort of girl. I was always the one among family and friends who was thought of as most likely to remain single and child-free. I have entertained the thought of baggage-free lifestyle right into my old age for the longest time. So when i suddenly realised that i could see my unborn children in his eyes, it could only be love. love. love. So, at the risk of nauseating everyone, I must sing a few praises of the object of my love and lust. A kind heart, love of family, loves his mum and sisters, is a bit of a feminist. And can cook,REALLY cook. Is easy on the eyes. He also totally gets that i have lupus. Its no...

This week has been busier than usual..I run a company, and my job as the business manager involves every aspect of the company from HR to overseeing the production line and montoring our sales and marketing team. Now, dont get me wrong, am not the micro-managing type. I have a capable sales and marketing manager who knows and does her work well. Unfortunately, she suffered a personal health crisis and is away for the whole week..perhaps longer. On the same day, the assistant sales manager lost her spouse and she's away for the next two weeks. That may not sound like too much disruption, but it comes at a week when the production is on overdrive which means more of my time is needed. Am having an unusually busy week, and it has taken its toll on my health. I worked full-on for the past 3 days, putting in over 12hrs each day. Now that may not sound like much for a normal healthy 29yr old, but for someone with lupus its a bit like climbing the kilimanjaro. Today, am stuck in the house...

and make beautiful memories. Yesterday, i visited my grandma who lives in the beautiful countryside, near the aberdares ranges, about 200km from Nairobi. As my sister and I were driving there, we looked at all the nice, and mostly not so nice properties dotting the hillside...Regardless of the look of the property, i realised that they have one thing that my apartment in the city, no matter how nice, cant beat. They have spectacular views and fresh air. Now dont get me wrong, am a city girl, who likes to be near the restaurants, the movies, the shops. Near the shoes and handbags. Near the neighbours whose names i dont know..but i cant help wanting a little piece of the country. of course the glamourous me wants a beautiful country house, horses and dogs, chickens and geese, ducks and a hunky farmhand to go with my little piece of the country. Oh, and a tractor too.. This got us thinking about all the things we should do before we get too old..my list includes visiting every corner of m...

We have finally moved the office. Its been difficult, but the moving is done. All the boxes have finally been shifted from the old place to the new place. Though they may not be unpacked yet, at least they're all there. I may not find my new projects file just yet, but I know its in one of the boxes that were carted into my new office this afternoon. The move has got me thinking about change. and new beginnings. We move on after a break-up, we move on after a loved one has passed on, we move on from singlehood to marriage, and from marriage after a divorce. We move up a dress size or down, for the lucky few. When things change, we move on. Now, we may not like hauling boxes up the two floors of the new office, but once you behold the view from there, it is worth it. We may not want to move on from a bad relationship, but when we welcome a much nicer person into our lives, it's worth the pain. We may like our single lives with all the freedom and independence that comes with it,...

“Illness is the night-side of life, a more onerous citizenship. Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick. Although we all prefer to use only the good passport, sooner or later each of us is obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of that other place.” Susan Sontag. I like Susan Sontag's observation on illness. But there're many of us who hold almost a constant passport in the night-side of life. The many of us who have invisible aches and pains on a daily basis. Those of us who require frequent renewal as the pages of our night-side passports are full. I was 20 when i realised something was not quite right. I had the occasional joint pain, especially after a night out, but i would put it to dancing in high heels. All my life, till i was 27, i could fully agree with Ms. sontag's, as i fully had the good passport with only the occasional bad one. Slightly over two years ago, in March of 200...

After a protracted and ardous search for new office space that has enough space and doesnt cost the earth, the universe obliged. The initial joy of finding a space has been quickly replaced by the terror of moving. Anyone who has moved, any size of house or office know one thing without a doubt:Moving sucks! Moving sucks energy, moving sucks time, moving sucks money. It would be a fair assessment to say that moving sucks living out of life. I am also quite sure that my planned weekend trip to the Maasai Mara will be sucked as well..Think about it for a moment: Am in khaki pants, black sleeveless top with a hermes scarf stylishly tied to my hat - No one said you have to dress down in the bush - sitting in a lounge chair at my (our? who knows a girl can get lucky)tent's balcony, a dry martini in hand, reading my latest book, watching the animals along the mara river as a beautiful african sun sets in the horizon..Then picture the most likely scenario this weekend..wearing overalls,...

I need grace. A lot of grace. And patience. and resilience. Why, you may ask, do i need all these virtues? Well, let me tell you a story. A few months ago, the lease at our office and factory expired. We therefore needed to find new office and factory space to move into ASAP. Our current landlord was kind enough to extend a grace period as we looked for suitable space. In may, i was hospitalised and the search ground to a halt..in mid June, as i felt better physically, the search was restarted. All i can say is, I have been to hell and back. From con men who purport to own offices and factories and are only interested in fleecing you, real estate agents who never call back to racist factory owners who have a problem with black folk. Am done. Am so done. Last week, i found a space that was suitable to our needs (most factories are so large and hence very expensive), met the very kind agent, viewed the space and started negotiating for the space. The owner, an elderly man of Asian descen...

Today i have 2 dates..which i must attend to. Afternoon coffee date with a dude i met 3 weeks ago. He works out of town and is around for a few days..then dinner, with an older man. Had dinner last wednesday with the same man, an old school gentleman who takes you out for an actual dinner in a nice restaurant and drinks afterwards and does not expect you to put out. Most of the younger men i have been out with think that buying you coffee or drinks equals a roll in the hay..and have no idea that asking a girl out after 7pm means dinner. I've had a few ask me whether am hungry..ofcourse am hungry; I just left the office, battled the evening traffic to meet you and now you're asking whether am hungry? No, my office serves lunch and dinner, you oaf. Not. Am sold on dating older guys. They are more attentive, talk about things other than themselves, dont expect me to put out on a timeline, actually listen when i talk, have many interesting experiences to share and they feed you. Wh...

Remember the popular song by CeCe Peniston 'Finally its happened to me...and i just cannot hide it..finally'? No, am not talking about love, am still waiting for that, but the guts to write and perhaps share with others my thoughts, musings, whinings and wins. This blog was initiated at the suggestion of Dr. Mugambi, a wonderful doctor, to share about how a young Kenyan woman deals with lupus on a day-to-day basis as opposed to continually whine at every appointment about the latest malady(ies)..So I figured, why just talk about lupus? While lupus is a constant and daily companion in my life, and must get its proper due, i have a full life that revolves around running a family company, trying to find love (its a jungle out there, i tell you), being fulltime member of a brilliant eccentric (and slightly dysfunctional) family, trawling the bookstores and coffeeshops.. It took a long time to decide to write the blog, i wasnt too sure (am still not) that i could write something leg...